


With a million dreams to fulfill

by ColorblindCity



Category: Glee
Genre: 6.08, 6x08 reaction fic, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 23:04:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3465341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorblindCity/pseuds/ColorblindCity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The morning after the wedding, Kurt and Blaine talk about living arrangements, last names, what went wrong before and what they will do to make things work this time around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With a million dreams to fulfill

**Author's Note:**

> So this has been sitting in my drafts for a while, and it's basically just me indulging myself on Kurt saying sorry to Blaine and promising to try harder, just because I love it when Kurt makes an effort.
> 
> Also, I have no idea how the merging of the last names thing goes, but for the sake of this fic, I'm going to assume that's a completely different legal procedure. Because I just really like the thought of them arguing about it, ok? ok.
> 
> The title is from Sting's song Until.

It's among thoughts of  _perfect_  and  _forever_  and  _dammit I need a cigarette_ , as the afterglow of their morning lovemaking fades away, that Kurt starts to think about the logistics of their new relationship status.

"We'll need to find an apartment. And soon, I don't think I can go back to sleeping without you," he's vaguely surprised to find he is not freaking out, not the tiniest bit.

In his arms, though, Blaine goes rigid.

"Do you mean... you want us to move in together?"  _again?_  goes unspoken.

"Well, of course I do. We're married," he can't say the words without smiling, not yet, possibly not ever. "Married people live together, don't they?" he teases, and swallows back an affectionate  _dummy_  that he's sure Blaine won't appreciate in a moment like this, instead settling for tracing the tips of his fingers over Blaine's back: H - U - M - M -

"Are you sure it's a good idea, Kurt?" his voice is small, just low enough that Kurt will hear the words but not the tone they're uttered in. Kurt sighs, tries to give it the dreamy air of someone madly in love (which he  _is,_  he is  _so_  madly in love, but he can sense an argument coming and he can't help falling back on old habits) while he increases the pressure of his fingers: E - L - A - N -

"It's the best idea ever," he whispers, tracing Blaine's jaw with open-mouthed kisses, up and down, and then back up to his ear, where he continues to whisper sweet nothings, promises and domestic fantasies, using his smoothest voice, that breathy low range that he knows will render Blaine helpless. His fingers continue: D - E - R - S - O - N -

"Oh, no, we discussed this, Anderson-Hummel is alphabetical and therefore better," Blaine stops him, disentangles himself and pushes away enough to look him in the eyes. Kurt notes that while his pupils are dilated, he doesn't look half as affected by his tactics as expected. 

"Yes, but Hummel ends in a consonant and Anderson starts with a vocal, which is why Hummel-Anderson is more phonetically pleasing  _and_  therefore better," there's no real heat behind the words, it's an old argument that probably won't be settled today, but Kurt plays along none-the-less. "Besides, it's catchier. We'll be public figures, Blaine, we need to make it easy for people to remember our names."

"Mmm, Anderson-Hummel can be catchy too. Also, considering  _I_ was the one to propose both times, I think I have earned my last name going first."

There's no venom in his voice, none that Kurt can hear at least, but it still feels a little too much like a reproach. Kurt knows, from the sickening guilt churning in his stomach, that in a couple of months he'll be signing a document to change his name to Kurt Anderson-Hummel, but he can't let Blaine know that yet.  "Ok, you get points. Right now you're ahead of the game, but this conversation isn't over."

Blaine hides his face in Kurt's neck, nuzzles it and Kurt can feel him smiling against his collarbones.

"So, about moving in..."

A sigh, breath tickling his skin and hands griping his waist tighter.

"Kurt, are you sure we're ready for that?" and it breaks Kurt's heart that his husband ( _his husband that he married yesterday because he loves him so, so much_ ) can sound so defeated on their first morning of marriage. "I mean, yeah we're married and that's great, that's  _amazing,_ " he hurries to explain, head tilted back to look at him, beautiful green eyes so close to Kurt's face, so shiny and loving, "and I will never regret marrying you, never. I love you," voice filled with such conviction, with such devotion that makes Kurt's heart feel like bursting - and Kurt can only  _hope_  his own 'I love you's come out half as devoted as Blaine's - but then Blaine looks down, bites his lips together. "But we just got back together, what, a week ago?"

Kurt knows where this is going. Not 24 hours ago, he himself was the one making this argument.

"I mean, we still have so much we need to work on, we need to get to know each other all over again, the people we became when we were apart. Living together is... well, we know from experience how hard it can be. We weren't ready for it a year ago, and we certainly aren't ready now."

Kurt nods along, puts Blaine's words on a loop inside his head, tries to make them sound like his own.

"You're right. It's too soon... I guess I got carried away..." he laughs it off, traces the back of his hand over Blaine's cheek. Blaine is smiling, but it's that fake, tight one that he used to wear when they'd insist they were just friends.

Kurt tries to fit all those reasons to stay apart - to stay at his father's house while his  _husband_  lives with his mother, to go back to basics with date nights and making out in their cars and struggling for privacy - inside the blank spaces in his head, tries to remember what it felt like to have these thoughts himself... But marriage - even only a night of it - has changed him. For so long he'd been so afraid of taking the leap, of committing the rest of his life to Blaine when there was still so much of it to live for himself, panicking at the smallest mention of the wedding, but now that that's over and done with, now that they are actually  _married_  and happy and together, Kurt can't see the sense in keeping their distance any longer.

After all, Kurt's always been the  _All or Nothing_  type.

"Wait, you know what?" Blaine only hums distractedly, hands playing with the hairs at the nape of his husband's neck. "We've been way too mature over this. No, scratch that,  _I've_  been too mature, always insisting we weren't ready, only because  _I_   wasn't ready. And yesterday-" he grabs Blaine's face between his hands to capture his attention. "Yesterday I  _still_ wasn't ready to marry you, I was freaking out the entire time. But you know what? I'm so glad I did it, I'm so glad because now we're here, we're married and I love you, I love you  _so much,_  Blaine. I don't want to spend any more nights without you." 

Blaine's eyes are wet, his face so young and scared and  _hopeful_. "I know you're scared that things will go wrong again, I know you're scared I'll turn into an asshole and start shutting you out like I did last time, and I know you won't believe me if I promise that's not going to happen, but-" he takes both of Blaine's hands into his own, rubs his thumb over the cold surface of his ring, "but I guess what I'm trying to say is, we'll never be one hundred percent ready to live together, and this is  _the rest of our lives_ we're talking about..." 

Blaine laughs, a few tears spilling down his cheeks but that lovesick gleam is back in his eye, because it's still such a surreal thought, that they actually belong to each other now and will be growing old together, and there's so much joy there that even in the middle of a serious conversation they have to stop and smile like idiots about it.

There are so many things Kurt wants to say all at once:  _I promise this time I will be trying my best. I promise I won't run away, I promise I won't shut you out. I promise..._ it feels like he can't make enough promises, that promising isn't enough, and he wishes he had a more reassuring word for his conviction, but words fail him when Blaine is looking at him like this, so happy for the future yet so troubled whether this time it's going to last. Hopeful and scared, they seem to be Blaine's default emotions when it comes to Kurt.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, for everything," is all he can say, overwhelmed with the thought that he put that look on Blaine's face, and with the thought that he almost lost this, almost lost the love of his life. "I know it's not much use now, but I was scared." He shrugs, running his thumbs across Blaine's wet cheeks.

"What were you scared of?" Blaine asks quietly, his breath mingling with Kurt's.

"I was scared that it had all been too good to be true. We started off so good, with minimal bumps in the road, and even then I'd tell myself... We're soulmates, you know?" They chuckle together, Blaine scooting in even closer. "Everything is going to work out, right? I just, I used to think it was guaranteed that we'd spend the rest of our lives together."

"It is," Blaine kisses him softly, hands slipping around Kurt's shoulders and settling there. "We are, we're already on our way."

"I know," Kurt smiles, a little to dazed, thoughts a jumble. He allows himself a moment to bask in his husband's arms ( _husband, he is my husband_ ) while he collects his thoughts, and if his mantra of  _I get to keep you now_ , slips past his lips, Blaine only tightens his arms around him. "What I mean is," he pulls away again, once he's recovered enough of his mental faculties, "I used to think it would just...  _work_ , you know? I used to think Love would tend to itself and we'd just have to worry about stopping the sex long enough to get stuff done." 

Blaine laughs, hiding his face in Kurt's collarbone,  _and god, how Kurt had missed having him there._

"Blaine Hummel-Anderson, I am trying to open my heart to you here, could you at least  _pretend_ you're not five years old?"

"I'll try." His smile is so fond, and he doesn't even fight the last name. 

_Hummel-Anderson._

The word is so sweet in his tongue; his heart hasn't quite recovered from the beats it skipped, when he starts talking again. "The point I'm trying to make is, I used to think soulmates were just... soulmates, we were just  _meant_  to be, everything was going to fix itself. So when things started getting rough, and I realized they  _weren't_  fixing themselves... Instead of trying to fix them, I just started thinking... It was too good to last, you know?" He didn't mean to stop here, he meant to keep going on talking until his voice was raw, but the look in Blaine's face tells him it's not necessary.

_I know what that feels like. I thought it too._

It's Kurt who breaks the silence again. "I learned the lesson, though, Ok? And because I let you down once already, I need you to know something, so listen to me very carefully." Blaine nods, sniffing and wiping his face. "I know what I'm getting myself into, this time. I know now that I have to make an effort. I know we'll have to work at this every day, I know it's going to be difficult. And I also know I can't imagine not doing this, not fighting for us. Do you think you can trust me again? Can you believe in me?"

Blaine's eyes rove over his face, searching frantically. Searching for what, Kurt has no idea, and he thinks maybe he ought to compose himself and look a bit more serious about this, more like a man in love than like a desperate child begging for forgiveness, but his emotions are running too wild even for his strict self-control. 

He thinks, as he panics over Blaine's silence, maybe he should have done this  _before_  marrying him. Kurt always knew it wasn't a matter of Blaine not loving him, so it had seemed easy enough to say  _hey, I love you, you love me, let's do this,_  and forget everything else in the whirlwind of a rushed wedding. Now, he realizes the real issue wasn't whether Blaine loved him or not, but whether Blaine could trust him, with his heart and his life and his future, anymore.

"I want to," Blaine says quietly, shy as he looks at Kurt through his eyelashes. Kurt waits for the other shoe to drop, but then Blaine smiles, real and bright like sunshine and so perfectly  _Blaine_ , and repeats: "I want to trust you, I really do," and then it sinks in that there is no  _but_  coming, no  _i can't_  or  _you hurt me too much._ It's a second chance, it's a promise to try.  _This all I can give you for now, but I will give it fully._

Kurt's always been the  _all or nothing_  type. But then again, he thinks, so is Blaine.

"So is that a yes? To moving in together?"

Is this how Blaine felt when he proposed? This burning in the pit of his stomach, insides fluttering, nauseous and scared and hopeful?

Maybe he can read these thoughts on Kurt's face. Maybe, for all that he loves Kurt, he can't help wanting to see him sweat a little, because he takes his time to answer, dims his smile just a little and looks around pensively. Kurt wishes he could tell whether he's playing him or if he's seriously still undecided.

"I promise to blow you at least three times a week, I swear," he pleads before he can stop himself, and Blaine laughs so loud, throws his head back and clutches at Kurt's arm and laughs and laughs. Kurt joins him, feeling pretty confident all of a sudden.

"Isn't that part of the marriage contract already?" Blaine teases through fading giggles, scooting closer (when had he rolled so far away?) until he can lay his head in the same pillow as Kurt's. "I think, Mr. Anderson-Hummel, you will need a better bargain if you hope to get anything out of me," his voice is playful and low, hands already roaming over Kurt's chest, legs tangling and hips pressed together. Kurt is pretty sure of Blaine's answer by now, and would very willingly tag along with sexier forms of unnecessary coercing, but they are married now, this is forever they're in for, and Kurt doesn't think brushing off their problems with sex is going to cut it this time around.

"I'll let you make me Mr. Anderson-Hummel. Officially." He does his best to keep his voice serious, pulls away to look Blaine in the eyes, to make it clear he isn't joking, that he never was.

"But..." Blaine gapes at him for a while, mouth forming over words he later discards, then says, somewhat disbelieving: "But Hummel-Anderson is catchier..." and he continues to stare at Kurt.

"I don't care," is all Kurt finds in himself to say, while also thinking that it's not a lie, not anymore.

Blaine is still staring, seemingly wanting to say  _I can't believe you would put me before yourself_ , but trying not to be rude. By the look on his face, it also seems to be everything Blaine ever wanted. While the thought of it doesn't make Kurt proud, it reassures him that he's doing it right this time.

"So?"

"You're such a dummy,  _of course_  I'm moving in with you again, you didn't need to give up the-"

Kurt rolls on top of him and kisses him until they both forget they have names.

 

 

\---

 

 

 

A week later they are moving into the tiniest, cheapest apartment they could find, unloading a surprisingly small amount of boxes (because most of Kurt's stuff is in storage in New York) and still grinning like idiots.

It's only a stepping stone, since they will be going back to the big apple at the end of the school year, and it's certainly far from glamorous - it comes  _with its own furniture_ , and while Kurt had pouted and sulked about it, he agreed it was for the best. With both of them getting paid teacher salaries and wanting to accept as little help from their parents as possible, it was the best they could afford for now.

And besides, Kurt had admitted the night before the move, as he drove Blaine back to his mother's house, there was a certain charm to it.

"It's our first home, and it's kind of romantic that it's such a mess and hardly our own at all. Isn't that how all marriages should start? In a rundown, shoebox apartment, struggling for money and fucking so loudly that the neighbors hate us?"

"A man after my own heart," Blaine had sighed, resting his hand over Kurt's, heart thumping wildly in his chest.

Now, as they finish the last trip from the car, Kurt thinks it is a true blessing that they have a bed already set up.

Blaine lowers a box to the ground, then he stands and stretches, his yellow shirt riding up his torso, exposing the lovely skin of his back to Kurt's eyes, and Kurt can't wait to have him laid out underneath him so he can suckle away and...

But first, there's something he needs to do.

"Oh, I think I left my laptop in the car," he says innocently, pushing his laptop under the couch before Blaine turns around. "Will you come get it with me?"

Blaine laughs, so free and joyful and Kurt's heart soars with the sound. "Sure," he extends his hand to Kurt, the silver of his ring glinting in the sun filled living room.

They walk out slowly, hands swinging between them, just enjoying being together for the sake of it. Kurt's laptop obviously isn't in the car so they're down and up the stairs within five minutes, but here's the important moment.

They reach their door and Kurt barely manages to wait until it's open before he's lifting Blaine up in his arms, full on bridal style.

"Kurt, what- oh my god what are you doing?" He swats at Kurt's chest halfheartedly, but his body is relaxed, one arm already tight around Kurt's neck, a breathless smile settling over his face.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm carrying my husband through the threshold."

Blaine only sighs that dreamy sigh he can't help making whenever Kurt uses the H word, his left hand coming to rest over Kurt's heart.

"Oh you charmer, you," he teases, but there's a blush in his cheeks that Kurt hasn't seen for so long. It takes his breath away, but that's nothing new when it comes to Blaine.

"You have no idea how much I love you," he answers, simple and unabashed because he  _can,_  because this man is his  _husband_  and he gets to say how much he loves him whenever the hell he wants to.

Blaine is tearing up and then Kurt realizes so is he, and god will they ever get over this? Will there ever come a time when they don't get all weepy over something so simple? Will the novelty of being married ever wear off?

Kurt fervently hopes not, as he leans in to kiss his husband.

They make it through the threshold without any incidents, and they giggle all the way like it's the most amazing thing they'll ever do, but when they're standing inside their new home and Kurt hasn't set his husband down, Blaine's breathing speeds up in anticipation.

"And now what?" He breathes against Kurt's neck, making the strong arms around him tighten.

"Now we cross the threshold to the room we will actually be living in for the rest of the weekend," Kurt's voice is a low rumble that Blaine can feel all the way to the marrow of his bones, and he can't repress a shiver at the feral glint in his husband's eye.

The floorboards creak under Kurt's feet, the ugly salmon paint is peeling in some places, the kitchen table wobbles, the couch is sunk in from too much use. They're short on cash and will be living on credit cards for a while. Their mattress is old and noisy, the walls really are paper thin and the neighbors start complaining not two hours after they start, um...  _christening_  the apartment.

And it's absolutely perfect.

 


End file.
